Sebab dulu selalu kena bahan kalau orang buat lawak.
Begini lawaknya;
"Dalam banyak-banyak buah, buah apa yang berbulu dan boleh dijumpai di Batang Berjuntai"
Tapi itu dulu, sekarang dah jadi;
"Dalam banyak-banyak buah, buah apa yang berbulu dan boleh dijumpai di Bestari Jaya"
Jawapan untuk kedua-dua versi di atas ialah Buah Rambutan.
Kthnxbai.
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Bila Brader Kebab Guna RON97
Adalah satu hari aku pegi jalan kat pasar malam. Hari apa aku tak ingat. Pasar malam ni tempat melempiaskan nafsu makan dengan rate berpatutan. Macam-macam ada, dari burger, kebab, roti john, roti goreng, yong tau fu, kueh teow kerang, rangka ayam, ayam percik, dan etc. So pusing punya pusing, sampailah aku ke gerai feberet. Gerai jual kebab dan seangkatan. Kalau datang pasar malam ni mesti aku pulang dengan produk brader tu.
Teringat kata-kata cikgu, "macam pegi funfair, tak sah kalau tak beli belon"...aaa lebih kurang camtu kut.
Tapi hari tu lain sket. Sebab aku tengok tanda harga dia dah kena pancung. Ala-ala kat supermarket yang tengah SALE. Tapi harga tak kurang, makin naik adalah. Lalu bermula satu konversasi berikut.
"Bang, sebelum ni harga RM2.50 je...ni dah naik banyak ni", sambil buat muka nak beli tapi komplen dulu.
Gerai tu memang feberet beli either kebab, roti john, atau burger. Walaupun gerai lain berlambak, tapi sebab malas dan lokasi gerai yang dekat dengan simpang jalan nak pulang ke parkir kereta aku tetap nak beli kat situ.
"Alah, kenalah naik sikit. Macamana nak untung...RON97 kan baru naik. Dari rumah nak ke tapak pasar ni pun pakai minyak gak der", brader tokey kedai sambil pakai bandana sebuah parti politik.
"Betul jugak tu ye bang. Sekarang ni semuanya naik. Harga barang makin mahal, mana nak kaut untung..", nafsu makan makin membuak. Mahal tak mahal..aku nak jugak makan kebab malam nih, sambil tangan seluk poket..check duit syiling ada lebih tak.
"Aaaa bang, kasi kebab daging satu", kat tangan dah ada duit 50sen 6 ketul..cukup RM3. Baki 20sen
Selamat perut aku. Beli jugak kebab kegemaran. Kebab brader tu tak pernah menghampakan perut setakat ni. Nasib baik kuantiti inti daging masih maintain. Yelah, dah naik harga takkan daging nak kasi kurang. Itu dah tipu pelanggan. Boleh lapor kat Persatuan Pengguna tuu.
Tapi kejadian yang paling menyirap ialah bila aku nak blah dari pasar malam tu. Terpandang plak kat van yang parking baekk punya belakang gerai brader Kebab tadi. Aku suspek van tu dia punya sebab pintu sliding terbuka menghadap gerai dia dan ada banyak roti burger dalam tu.
...kat penutup minyak van tu ada tertulis DIESEL.
"Hampeh! Tu belum masuk cerita pasal gula lagi", bisik pada diri sendiri sambil jalan hentak-hentak kaki.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sudah 18 Nov..Saya Takut, Saya Risau
18 Nov 2010.
tarikh yang paling aku takuti. Kenapa? biar aku terangkan.
Ok aku tipu. Sila rujuk entri post berikut. 18 Nov tarikh tsunami melanda panggung wayang Malaysia (kononnya). Fenomena pecah panggung yang bakal mengubah sejarah perfileman Malaysia (kononnya). Situasi gegak gempita di semua lokasi tayangan filem 2 Alam (kononnya).
Risau juga, kalau
- Takde orang pergi majlis kenduri kahwin akibat beramai-ramai ke panggung. Sampai ketua kampung pun buat rombongan pergi penuhkan panggung 8 slot sehari. Nak capai cita-cita RM40juta
- Takde orang pergi tengok tapi keluar berita/headline/iklan di Metro "Hari pertama kutip RM8juta, gegak gempita panggung di Jitra" dan sebagainya.
Tanpa Pamela Anderson pun dah sasar RM40 juta, kalau ada Pamela Anderson aku rasa paling kurang RM85 juta doktor ni sasar kut.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Kepada Fanatik Sekalian, Nah Ambik Kau!
Ini versi terbaru Farmville untuk korang semua. Menggunakan ciri-ciri CGI tahap tinggi, membuatkan watak-watak nampak lebih dekat dengan realtiti. Teknologi yang hampir sama juga digunakan dalam produksi filem-filem antarabangsa seperti BeoWulf, Transformers dan Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak. Permainan versi terbaru ini juga akan dikeluarkan dalam bentuk 3D, dimana pemain perlu memakai cermin mata 3D untuk melihat watak-watak timbul seolah mahu keluar dari skrin komputer.
p/s : gambar dari facebook
Monday, March 15, 2010
Lebih Baik Hidup Sederhana daripada Berduit Tapi Jadi Badut Sarkis
Pelik. Kereta sudah dicipta dengan 4 tayar. Untuk bergerak di atas 4 tayar. Lainlah kalau motosikal, ada 2 tayar. Tapi ada setengah orang tak faham. Dibelinya kereta yang ada 4 tayar untuk dipandu macam motosikal yang ada 2 tayar. Tak percaya, tengok ni. Aku speechless!
Ini dalam bentuk video. Tapi bukan video clip nasyid tau. Biasanya akan disusuli dengan ucapan, "Please don't try this at home..unless you're a rich fella in Dubai"
Buat apa kau tabik hormat? Macam nak bagi salam terakhir saja. Barangkali kekurangan kasih sayang?
Ini dalam bentuk video. Tapi bukan video clip nasyid tau. Biasanya akan disusuli dengan ucapan, "Please don't try this at home..unless you're a rich fella in Dubai"
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
(Desperate Husbands) Bila Si Isteri Sibuk Bekerja..
Zaman sekarang ni majoriti wanita bekerja. Tak kira yang masih bujang ataupun sudah berkahwin. Yang beranak lapan pun masih sibuk bekerja. Al-maklumlah, zaman sekarang ni semuanya mahal, gaji pulak sikit. Nak harapkan si suami seorang mencari rezeki pun risau. Sebab tu ramai buat side income. Sebab tu semua nak pasang nuffnang kat blog. Sebab nak cari income duit poket. Tapi janganlah sampai jadi macam ni..Haha
p/s : Kalau jadi cam Redmummy pun bagus. Work from home..hehe
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sharing is Caring so I'm Sharing This
Selamat Malam.
Sebentar tadi aku mendapat satu laman web yang sangat menarik untuk dikongsi bersama. Sesuai untuk peminat tegar Facebook, komik dalam laman web tu ditujukan khas kepada golongan tersebut. Sangat sinis tapi memang benar sekali. Komik yang comel. Anda setuju?
p/s: cuba layar juga topik-topik kelakar lain seperti "Eating Flies, How to use Semicolon, How to ride a pony, etc" Memang kelakar!
Sumber : The Oatmeal
Sebentar tadi aku mendapat satu laman web yang sangat menarik untuk dikongsi bersama. Sesuai untuk peminat tegar Facebook, komik dalam laman web tu ditujukan khas kepada golongan tersebut. Sangat sinis tapi memang benar sekali. Komik yang comel. Anda setuju?
p/s: cuba layar juga topik-topik kelakar lain seperti "Eating Flies, How to use Semicolon, How to ride a pony, etc" Memang kelakar!
Sumber : The Oatmeal
Monday, February 22, 2010
Anugerah Stalker Terhebat Jatuh Kepada...
Maaf, entri kali ini lebih gambar dari tulisan. Tapi aku tertarik dengan beberapa siri gambar yang aku peroleh dari email hari ini. Siapa boleh beri nama brader stalker nih? aku nak cari sejarah dia. Ape motif dia melakukan aktiviti yang menakutkan dan seram ini. Berapa rekod peribadi dia dan bermacam-macam lagi info yang nak aku ketahui. Kalau boleh aku pun nak tahu kalau-kalau dia ada blog. Mungkin dia ada tips untuk tingkatkan trafik dan sebagainya.
Ini memang hebat. Stalker yang hebat. Stalker kamera wartawan kut? Atau dia ada issue dengan wartawan terbabit? GAY? Itu yang menjadi misteri.. Lihat sajalah gambar-gambar berikut sebagai bukti..believe it or not?
Ini memang hebat. Stalker yang hebat. Stalker kamera wartawan kut? Atau dia ada issue dengan wartawan terbabit? GAY? Itu yang menjadi misteri.. Lihat sajalah gambar-gambar berikut sebagai bukti..believe it or not?
kat sini pun dia ada daa..cuba carik kalau power
SOURCE : mailbox aku
Monday, February 8, 2010
Only the ones with great minds can read this
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it
FTN : Sekali-sekala release tension. Haha
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it
Eonverye taht can raed tihs rsaie yuor hnad.
FTN : Sekali-sekala release tension. Haha
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Pure Stupidity : Man Arrested over twitter joke
FTN : I just don't understand what these people seek by doing this. Similar to what happened here in Malaysia. Refer to previous posting.
A British man was arrested for making a terror threat after he joked on Twitter that he would blow up an airport, police said Monday
Police arrested 26-year-old Paul Chambers on Jan. 13 after he posted a message on the popular micro-blogging site saying he would blow northern England's Robin Hood Airport "sky high" if his flight was delayed.
Police said he has since been bailed pending further investigation.
"I would never have thought, in a thousand years, that any of this would have happened because of a Twitter post," the Daily Mail newspaper quoted Chambers as saying.
Police said they take misuse of Web sites like Twitter seriously, and will take action to deal with users who cause "unnecessary alarm and distress" to the public.
"Any inappropriate use could cause unnecessary concern and lead to comments being reported to police," a police statement said.
Robin Hood Airport said it fully endorsed the police action. "Comments made threatening airport safety are taken extremely seriously at all times," it said in a statement. - AP
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Oh Inspector, I'm very sure he doesn't have any ears!
He doesn't have any ears, his chin's lop-sided, and his haircut bears a passing resemblance to the roof of a thatched cottage. But to police in Bolivia, he's public enemy number one.
The picture, widely described as the world's worst photo-fit, was drawn by a woman who witnessed the violent murder of Rafael Vargas, a taxi driver from the city of Santa Cruz who was stabbed to death before being set on fire in the street last March. After Bolivian TV showed the image, accompanied by dramatic music, the case became a cause célèbre.
Clips of news reports describing crime were uploaded to YouTube, and went viral, sparking comparisons between the suspect and, among other things, a character from the TV series Fraggle Rock.
Police had the last laugh, though. Thanks to enormous public interest in the case, they have arrested two men. Under local laws, the suspects cannot be identified, so TV stations replaced their heads with cartoons of the now-famous photo-fit.
Want to see the how the photo-fit looks like?
HAHAHAHAHAHA! What's with the hair?? Rebonding technique? LOLz. I'm sure the Bolivian Police would have a hard time identifying the suspect! Damn..that is one fine art. Not sure how photo-fit is drawn at the first place..I thought that usually the police will draw according to witness description..or is it the other way around?
Hope the criminal will get caught soon!
SOURCE : THE INDEPENDANT
The picture, widely described as the world's worst photo-fit, was drawn by a woman who witnessed the violent murder of Rafael Vargas, a taxi driver from the city of Santa Cruz who was stabbed to death before being set on fire in the street last March. After Bolivian TV showed the image, accompanied by dramatic music, the case became a cause célèbre.
Clips of news reports describing crime were uploaded to YouTube, and went viral, sparking comparisons between the suspect and, among other things, a character from the TV series Fraggle Rock.
Police had the last laugh, though. Thanks to enormous public interest in the case, they have arrested two men. Under local laws, the suspects cannot be identified, so TV stations replaced their heads with cartoons of the now-famous photo-fit.
Want to see the how the photo-fit looks like?
HAHAHAHAHAHA! What's with the hair?? Rebonding technique? LOLz. I'm sure the Bolivian Police would have a hard time identifying the suspect! Damn..that is one fine art. Not sure how photo-fit is drawn at the first place..I thought that usually the police will draw according to witness description..or is it the other way around?
Hope the criminal will get caught soon!
SOURCE : THE INDEPENDANT




















