Ole Ole Ole!!
UEFA UERO 2012 is just around the corner. 2 days left till the first kick-off match between co-host nation Poland and Greece. As usual, every 4 years each and every soccer fans worldwide will transform themselves into soccer-freaks, staying up late and cheering for their favourite teams. For some, this is the most anticipated event of their lifetime. So to all other Non-Soccer Fans, please understand and cooperate with us (the Fans). Go go Deutschland!!
Dear Wife/Sweetheart/Girl Friend/Partner/whomever it may concern,
- Between 9 June and 20 July 2012, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
- During the Euro 2012, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
- If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
- During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expext me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor...It won't happen
- It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs (red bulls) in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 6am and 11pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
- Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
- You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game; hence do not use the Euro 2012 as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
- The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again, MANY TIMES.
- Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires your attendance because:
a) I will not go,b) I will not go, andc) I will not go
- But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
- The daily Euro 2012 highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
- And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the Euro is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FA Cup, World Cup, etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Failure to follow, will result a Red Card
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Seriously, I'm Serious. No..serious ni weh!!